The Most Dangerous Mission
by XkatarinaXILSB
Summary: ONE-SHOT Minato Namikaze, also known as Yellow Flash, goes in a suicidal mission. what will happen? why is Jiraya here? and Kushina? ant those... those... things!


**THE MOST DANGEROUS MISSION**

By: Katty

"Babysitting is horrible! They almost ate me alive!" Kushina had said a few years ago. Minato had always thought she was exaggerating, after all, compared with the missions shinobis like her had done, how hard could taking care of a bunch of kids be?

Man... Was he a dumbass!

***

Minato Namikaze, Konoha's Yellow Flash, a worldwide known ninja, possibly as strong as the Hokage himself (if not stronger), in all his years of battle and fights had never _ever _seen something as scary as… as _that._

He glanced cautiously the building before him. It was old and dirty, with weeds crawling vertically.

He looked back to see if the _creatures _had followed him.

None had. Good.

His relieved sigh was abruptly interrupted by a bloody scream. It looked like someone was being tortured. _Crap! _He thought _I may have to call some backups. _However, he didn't have the chance to do so, for half a dozen of the creatures had come out of the building.

Minato quickly jumped to the highest branch of one of the surrounding trees and observed what they were doing.

Some of the creatures had feathers stuck in their hairs while others had something horribly similar to teeth on it. They all had marks on their faces, probably mud or _blood _that matched with the straps of cloth they were wearing_. _

After they chose a few rocks from the ground they ran to the safety of their building, conveniently forgetting to close the door.

That was his chance! He was going in. Even though those _beings _scared the life out of him, he would not give up. He was going to be the next Hokage damnit! One way or another he _would _complete his (too dangerous) mission and come out alive without killing anyone! He wasn't called a genius for no reason. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing ever worth it is.

His plan was simple: getting inside undetected; grab the target; run as fast as he could! Nothing could go wrong, it was a brilliant plan, just like Minato.

Once again, he tasted his own stupidity.

While he was searching for the target (what he hadn't given to be a Hyuuga!) one of _them _had found him. _It _looked similar with ones Minato had seen outside, with feathers on the head, marks on the cheeks and what looked like a dirty toga. They stared at each other, frozen and surprised. Maybe the little monster would turn away and ignore him. Maybe. Just maybe… however… No such luck… and, unfortunately for Minato, _he _(or was it a she?) even had a better reaction time than he had calculated and shrieked in alert.

And he shrieked…

And shrieked…

And kept shrieking…

It was painful! The Yellow Flash actually had to use his arms to shield his ears! And, when he reopened his eyes and rested his arms beside his body he gasped at the sight before him.

70 or so other _mini-beings _had appeared instantly and made a circle around him with fierce faces. He really was in a tight spot!

Minutes dragged e the blond shinobi felt sweat running down his neck. What to do? _Their _expressions were creepy… and mean… and bloodthirsty…

It was then, with no signal, no warning, no nothing, in a sudden movement that they all launched at him with fierce cries of "MOCHE! MOCHA" whatever that meant.

The last thing Minato saw were feet decorated with bracelets and snails… and then he hugged the darkness.

Who knows how much time later, Minato's head started aching but he realized he was thinking better. Was it a good sign? He still felt like he had a hangover and taken one of Tsunade's beatings…

"…where am I…?" he murmured to himself. His were still closed. Who knows what he would find if he opened them…

"In hell… finally you're awake! I was thinking the brats had killed you…" a familiar voice replied. Minato opened his eyes and straightened himself so quickly he looked a blur. And now he was dizzy… great! He glanced to his surroundings. He was in a white room with childish draws in the walls. There were three big windows and a door. He could come out with a plan if he wasn't with such a headache…

"Sensei?!" if it wasn't for his voice, Minato wouldn't have recognize him. Jiraya was tied to the ceiling by his wrists and was blushing but that wasn't the worst of it. He had his hair up in a bun, glowing red lipstick on his eyes while his lips were painted black (with that black stuff similar to tar that women – and some men - use to paint their nails), and he was dressed with a purple dress with yellow ribbons and dots.

Whether it was the stress or not, the normally serious, calm and reliable shinobi laughed.

He laughed so hard he got red.

He laughed so hard he started to cry.

He laughed so hard he got spasms.

He laughed so hard he almost had a seizure.

He laughed so hard he almost fainted.

He laughed so hard … well, you get the idea…

His sensei pouted and blushed more. He was Jiraya The Gama Sennin, he wouldn't be laughed at!

"Shut up!" his sensei muttered "As if you look any better!"

That definitely had an impact on his favorite student, who stopped laughing immediately and frowned, deep in thought.

"They're coming" Jiraya said.

Minato just nodded. He knew his sensei knew he knew they were coming.

The brown oak door was unlocked and opened with a creek and _they_ entered.

A few grabbed the pillows scattered around the room and banged them with dirty, rusty spoons as if they were drums.

The remainders grouped around the prisoners.

A male (or was it a female? He was never sure) specimen approached Minato smirking evilly. That onewas probably the Boss.

Minato swallowed his own saliva but throat still felt like cork.

The Boss raised one hand.

The _creatures _that were surrounding the prisoners pointed little sharp forks towards them.

The ones by the pillows fastened their pace.

Jiraya swallowed hard. His fear was almost palpable.

Minato closed his eyes. What kind of end was this? He hadn't done so many things… he hadn't reached Hokage… he hadn't married Kushina… he hadn't even turned 18 yet… life sucked and right now, Minato wished he had a bottle of sake…

As if time was slower, the Boss slowly lowered his arm. Jiraya gasped and Minato closed his eyes, this was getting ugly…

"What the hell is going on – who are – Minato? Jiraya-sensei?"

Both student and master turned to their savior, relieved.

"Kushina!" they screamed happily. Jiraya then passed out. They were safe… and he needed sake…

"Kushina-sama!" the Boss chirped "you know the ugly men?"

"Ugly men?" she analyzed them both. "More like ugly women…"

"Anyway, Minato," she turned to him and glared resting her fist on her hips "I asked you to grab my niece, not to play with the punks… I was starting to think you had ditched me!"

"Play…?" he asked weakly. It took a lot of effort not to burst in tears.

Kushina raised one red eyebrow confused.

"Huh… you _are _in a kindergarten full of three years old punks, what did you want to do? Some sort of cannibal ritual dance?" she then laughed at her own joke_. He is such a softie_ she thought amused _playing with a bunch of kids…_

"Kushina?"

"Yeah?"

"Remind me to never have kids…" he asked. Kushina grinned resembling the… _the_…_ the kids_…

"Well, that's too bad, you know why?"

"No…" he said fearfully.

"I'm pregnant!" e with that, Minato joined his sensei with in La La Land with a bottle of sake… and another of vodka.

One of the kids pulled Kushina's sleeve.

"Hey Kushina-sama, can we eat them?"

"I was only joking…" she murmured numbly.

The kid turned to the Boss who shrugged. His innocent expression broke into an evil one.

"Let the ritual BEGIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

* * *

well there you have my first oneshot.

sorry for any errors


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